As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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