OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
