Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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