Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
i now understand why vodka
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
