We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
