i think my tv is drunk
i love accidental penises.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
