The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
