i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize