Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Barsexuality is the new black.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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