so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
