it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
