I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
