the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
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