belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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