I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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