I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
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