There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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