we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize