i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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