i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
