remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
