im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
That's when you crack a 10am beer
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
