dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
