I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
