Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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