I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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