Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I skipped work to stalk him.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
