whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
He passed out mid-signature
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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