Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
