Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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