At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
