i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
