Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize