Only a mothe r could love this liver
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
