i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
