You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
