Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
The feeling are messing with the penis
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
