D3 body, D1 cock
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Me too!
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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