Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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