I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
no you cant smoke seaweed
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
