i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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