Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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