He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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