I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
