How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
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