It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
My life is pants optional.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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