i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
