I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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