Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
