so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
my poor anus
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
