3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I believe in your delicious
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
