Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
