Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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