I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
