Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I woke up under a house in Key West
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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