and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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