Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
