Plan B is the new Plan A
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
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