At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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