I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
