Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
