someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
