my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
