porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
