Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
farters have to be the big spoon...
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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