Non-Jews are for practice
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize