I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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