i don't like sucking hair
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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