it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
You did what with his pubic hair?
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