I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
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