I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize