dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize