The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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