thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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