and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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