I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
